your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
