I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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