He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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