how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
