Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
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