My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Send help, water and tortillas.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
