he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
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