I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
There r osticjed everywhere
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
