dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
