Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
