Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
