Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
