Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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