Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
