A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
