I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i just had sex bonerless
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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