Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just invented taco cereal.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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