Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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