I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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