so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize