i barfeds in our rink
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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