people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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