Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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