I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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