Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
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