So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
