It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Hippo gnu deer
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
