So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
