So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
