Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Screwed.edu
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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