just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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