Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
