I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
