just survived the first fart of the relationship.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I AM VODKA MAN
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
