ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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