Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize