doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
