he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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