I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
