Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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