So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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