she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
