It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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