We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
