I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How does one acquire holy water?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
