I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
She made me pour olive oil on her.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
