Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
