You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
