Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize