Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
