***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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