i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
