so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
