sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Dignity is for republicans.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
