You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
