I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
